Fear on the Runway
Re-routing the mental cul-de-sacs of a phobia and the beautiful dance of reshaping our mind
AI generated image from prompt, “a woman flying through jello illuminating the beautiful dance of reshaping our mind.”
Hey there, lovely friends!
I've just landed in vibrant Panama City, celebrating my 40th birthday with a salsa-dancing fiesta – check out the video, it was one epic way to mark the big 4-0! So, I'm on a five-month Central American adventure, and after my last piece, "Soaring Above Fear," I got tons of feedback from you, friends, who can relate to my fear of flying. So, let's dive deeper into this journey.
If you missed "Soaring Above Fear," give it a read, it all began with a turbulent helicopter ride in the Swiss Alps that made me think I was meeting the bigwig upstairs. I shared my steps to tackle this paralyzing panic – talk therapy, EMDR, and hypnotherapy, and yes, a bit of liquid courage (a.k.a. alcohol and sedatives). Most importantly, hypnotherapy transformed me into a whiskey-free frequent flyer, enabling me to endure four 9-hour flights in just six months.
As I mentioned before, you can't just leave a phobia simmering on the back burner; it's an ongoing journey, like mental fitness. Learning to deal with fear is crucial for your overall well-being. Now, before 2019, I was a flying aficionado, never fearing a plane ride. I cherished the butterflies that fluttered in my stomach before and after takeoff. The mechanics of flight and the mental health of pilots were never causes for concern. But then, there was that terrifying helicopter experience in the Swiss Alps, with turbulence that made me feel like a ping pong ball. Traumatic, right?
Let's break it down:
I'm a highly sensitive person, keenly in tune with my body.
I've have a history of generalized and social anxiety.
The traumatic helicopter ride etched itself into my mind.
Fear became muscle memory.
I exposed myself to crashes in the news, such as the tragedy of Kobe Bryant and the Boeing Max plane nose-diving (yes, I even Googled a video – I'll never understand why).
A flight to see my grandmother before she passed away triggered anxiety.
The onset of the COVID-19 pandemic added to my powerlessness.
The sudden loss of my other grandmother left me anxious.
After that helicopter ordeal, my brain and body soaked up negative sensations, ideas, and images, convincing me that being airborne at 30,000 feet in a thin metal canister was perilous. I tried to avoid flying, although experts say that's the worst thing to do. COVID-19 gave me a break, but eventually, I couldn't hide behind a pandemic anymore. So, I got a therapist and did ten sessions of EMDR. It helped a bit, but the fear still lingered, and that's when alcohol and sedatives entered the scene.
Hypnotherapy – Facing Fear Head-On
A family member recommended a hypnotherapist. We had two sessions over Zoom, and she gave me a crucial audio recording. In just six months, I conquered four 9-hour flights to Europe. Our work included revisiting a time when I felt intense fear and a lack of control, which, for me, traced back to my family's breakup when I was a pre-teen. Age Regression helped me confront and rewrite that old memory with newfound wisdom, understanding, and forgiveness.
Remember, your fear dynamics might be different. A skilled hypnotherapist tailors the techniques to your unique situation. The aim of hypnotherapy is to neutralize the emotional charge of distressing memories. Age Regression was a step in the right direction because it let me examine the anatomy of my fear. But I needed to unlearn the sensations of terror I absorbed from tragic news stories.
I had to rewrite my brain's narrative about flying, and learn how to deal with panic attacks in real time.
Reshaping Our Minds with Neuroscience
Enter the captivating world of neuroplasticity. Brain science uncovered a game-changing truth: our brains are in fact malleable, and can actually rewire themselves. Just as we can diligently work our muscles through exercise, we have the power to rewire our neural pathways through specific behaviors and thoughts. By doing so, we can reduce the intensity and frequency of symptomatic obstacles. Re-routing our mental cul-de-sacs emerges into a beautiful dance reshaping our very own minds.
How Hypnosis Works
Ann Williamson's peer-reviewed study, "What is hypnosis and how might it work?" sheds light on hypnosis, a practice with a long history of therapeutic use. Unfortunately, due to media misrepresentations, its reputation has suffered. Recent advances in neuroscience have provided valuable insights into the mechanisms behind hypnosis. Today, hypnosis is gaining credibility as a therapeutic tool, especially in managing conditions such as anxiety and pain.
Hypnosis can best be described as a heightened state of awareness, where your focus shifts from the external world to your internal experiences – your thoughts, emotions, and mental imagery. It's a state achieved through concentrated attention of your imagination, to the point where what you envision can feel as real as the world around you. A collaborative process between clinician and patient crafts a compelling hypnotic reality through the power of suggestion.
Now, let's talk about everyday "trance" states. We've all experienced these – when you're completely absorbed in a TV show or book, or when you're driving down a familiar road on autopilot, or during moments of prayer, meditation, or when you're engrossed in a repetitive or creative task. These are moments when your focus shifts internally, although you still maintain some level of awareness of your surroundings.
Think of hypnosis as a deliberate, meditative state that can be harnessed for therapeutic purposes. Suggestions, conveyed through words or imagery, are directed toward specific outcomes, such as reducing anxiety or relieving pain and other symptoms. Typically, hypnosis is a relaxing experience, which can be beneficial for those dealing with anxiety or tension. But what truly sets it apart is its ability to enhance the power of suggestion and tap into unconscious processing.
In other words, it doesn't make the impossible possible, but it helps patients 'believe' and then 'experience' what might be attainable for them.
You know, it's pretty wild how our brains work. So, there's the left brain, which is like the practical, wordy part of our minds. It's all about logic and reason, you know, keeping things in check. But then, when we relax or get absorbed into something, the right brain takes over. The right brain is more emotional – all about feelings, creativity, and it communicates to us through pictures and symbols. It’s like a surrealist painting illustrating our unconscious lives.
And get this, fancy brain scans - aka neuroimaging - show that when we're in a hypnotic state, it's like we're living in a movie. The same areas light up as if we're actually doing the stuff we're imagining. So, if you're freaking out with anxiety, and who doesn't at times, it's like your brain is screaming with emotions. But with a little hypnotic magic, we can steer that creative mind to better places. Redirect the chaos, find some calm, and sprinkle in some positive thoughts. It's like brain yoga at the mental spa! It's pretty neat how it can help us manage our feelings.
Deep Relaxation & The Rewind Technique
Leading up to my flight to Panama, I listened to my hypnotherapy recording every day during the week prior. The audio is 16 minutes long, featuring a deep relaxation exercise. I imagine a warm light flowing through my body from head to toe. As my relaxation deepens, my body is encouraged to let go. The therapist primes my mind with positive cues while having me imagine packing for my trip, traveling to the airport, exploring the stores, and passing through passport control.
She then takes me on the plane, cultivating excitement for takeoff and reassuring me that the noises and bumps during the flight are simply signs that everything is operating correctly. She reminds me of the excitement I feel about arriving.
In essence, we go through the entire flight, reaching my destination, experiencing it positively, and reinforcing feelings of safety, calm, and excitement. Afterward, we rewind and experience the entire trip in reverse. Once we return to the starting point, we fast forward and relive it, repeating this process multiple times.
This repeated exposure reroutes old neural pathways. By visualizing a safe flight in my mind's eye, over and over again, we reinforce a sense of safety. It's a simple technique, and it works, but it's not easy. You must be willing to repeat this work consistently and believe in its efficacy, even if it takes five years. With each flight, the process becomes more manageable if you persevere.
Cheat Sheet – Before Flying, Prepare your mind
Daily Hypnotherapy Routine:
Leading up to your flight, establish a daily hypnotherapy routine. Consistency is key to reprogramming your mind. Here's what it entails:
Listen to a hypnotherapy recording daily.
Engage in a deep relaxation exercise to calm your nerves.
Visualize your entire flying experience, from packing to destination.
Reinforce positive cues about safety, calmness, and excitement.
Repeat this process consistently during the week before your flight.
Rewinding the Experience:
The "Rewind Technique" is a core component of this process:
After experiencing your flight in your mind, rewind the entire journey.
Fast forward and relive it, repeating multiple times.
This repetition serves to reroute old neural pathways by visualizing a safe flight.
Coping with Turbulence:
Turbulence often triggers anxiety. To address this, adopt a technique that helps you regain a sense of safety.
Imagine the plane jiggling in jelly during turbulence.
By visualizing turbulence as a harmless sensation, you can ease your anxiety.
Consistent Effort:
The bridge between simplicity and ease is effort, so be prepared to invest the time and effort needed for your unique journey. Understand that it takes time and commitment to reprogram your mind successfully.
An Experiment at Canada's Wonderland
The Leviathan, a rollercoaster at Canada’s Wonderland, 306 feet high
A week before my flight, I challenged myself to go on amusement park rides at Canada's Wonderland. I used to love these rides and trusted them without thought. It never occurred to me that they could malfunction and crash into a cement pillar. Vivid images of decapitation had never crossed my mind, but they did now. I know, dark right? Nevertheless, I was determined to face my fear, so I designed a little experiment.
My goal was to test whether my hypnotherapy techniques, initially designed to help me overcome my fear of flying, could also work their magic on heart-pounding rollercoasters – something I used to enjoy as a child.
For days, I listened to my hypnotherapy recording, allowing its soothing words to permeate my thoughts. It was no longer just about planes; it was about rollercoasters too.
I envisioned the fun I would have, the car ride to the park, indulging in junk food like ice cream dots, and repeated my newfound mantra: "This is safe, this is fun, I love rides, going on rides is so easy, it's like breathing."
I recited this mantra on the way to the amusement park, while waiting in line, and even as I hurtled face-first down metal tracks, defying death. Friends! I embarked on three colossal rides at Canada's Wonderland: the Twister Arm, the Yukon Strike, and the Leviathan. The Leviathan, towering at 306 feet (93.27 meters) with an 80-degree incline, was the most colossal of them all. Before I knew it, I was hurtling down the track at incredible speeds, reaching up to 148 kilometers an hour – fun fact: that's faster than most trains in Canada!
The Leviathan, Canada’s Wonderland.
These rides became my real-time mental obstacle course, allowing me to dissect the dimensions of my fear. You might be thinking, "This doesn't work; you can't tell yourself something you don't believe to be true." I completely agree with you. That's why it's essential to invest as much time as it takes to reprogram your own operating system. We're all unique, and commencing this process as early as possible and repeating it is vital. We must become 'horse whisperers' to our own minds.
I polled my Instagram followers, asking, "Would you try a 306 ft drop?"
Horse Whispering Your Own Mind
The first step is becoming conscious of what triggers your fear. Observe yourself without immediate emotional reactions. Picture yourself as a detached observer, and take note of what you see, hear, and feel. Recognize your specific fears. When I did this, I observed a terrified individual who had an inherent distrust of the mechanics of the plane and the people in charge. As I continued to observe myself, I could sense that another layer of my fear consisted of vivid mental images of crashing and suffering a violent, agonizing death.
Once you identify your fears, build a relationship with your mind. Just like building trust with a horse takes time, connecting with your mind requires dedication and persistence. Communicate with your own mind every day, and it will come to trust you.
Flying Day
When panic sets in on a real flight, I interrupt my thoughts. I might make a noise or say, "Stop! Or Change!" I repeat a calming mantra: "I am safe, I am calm, I am happy. Flying is so easy, it's like breathing. I love flying. I am so lucky to get to fly. I trust. I am safe." Repeating this mantra calms me down for a few seconds.
If I'm experiencing a very turbulent flight, I imagine the plane jiggling in jelly. For me, a significant part of my phobia is a distrust in the mechanics of flying through the air. If I can convince my brain that I am safe in turbulence, jiggling in jelly, then most of my flights become relatively smooth sailing. This works wonders for me.
Fear as a Life Hindrance
There was a time when I wouldn't even consider getting on a plane. My partner and I began to contemplate alternative modes of travel, opting for road trips instead of flights. My phobia had such a stranglehold on my life that I was willing to forgo visiting family and forfeit the chance to explore foreign shores. It felt as if I had no other options; I refused to let go of my dream to fly. So, what were my options, really?
In a fascinating podcast episode of “Pulling the Thread”
and Matt Gutman, an ABC Chief National Correspondent and the author of No Time to Panic: How I Curbed My Anxiety and Conquered a Lifetime of Panic Attacks delve into the paradox of fear. Matt eloquently states,"I think a lot of us embody what I call the 'courageous coward.' We're capable of these audacious feats that demand tremendous courage – like speaking in front of a panel, going live on television, or, in my case, swimming with sharks, plunging into the eye of hurricanes, or covering war zones repeatedly. Yet, we have another side, one so fragile and delicate that it can succumb to anxiety at any given moment."
Gutman penned his book because he experienced a debilitating panic attack on live television during a pivotal news moment, leading to a temporary leave. It was in that very moment that he recognized the urgent need for help and healing, as these panic attacks had become a recurring part of his life.
He sheds light on the insights of evolutionary scientists who claim that we are wired to have a thousand false alarms rather than one real alarm that could end us. Anxiety, in essence, is deeply rooted in our evolutionary history and is a fundamentally good thing. However, if you find yourself grappling with panic, anxiety, or a phobia, there are various avenues to strengthen your mental resilience, and what works may differ for each individual.
Conclusion:
Facing phobias isn't just about overcoming one fear; it's a complete mental makeover. We're rewiring our inner tech, and as time goes on, that familiar anxious voice may come back. It's a reminder to boost your mental resilience. Your mind is incredibly malleable; with each whispered mantra in the face of fear, you're not just reshaping your thoughts – you're crafting a future where you're the pilot.
On route to Panama City, someone put me in charge of this door!
Just look at me – from the grip of fear to a five-month adventure in Central America, I am feeling more alive than I’ve ever felt, as I soar above my fear. The adventure has only just begun, so stay tuned for more!
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Hasta Pronto!
Ashley, aka Fake Guru
Like, comment, screenshot, and share! Forward it to a friend! You are reading Wannabe Wisdom, Diaries of a Fake Guru by Ashley Evans. I’m on Instagram and Threads.
