Soaring Above Fear

How to rewire your brain and overcome flight phobias

AI generated image using the prompt “a airplane flying in the desert, light blue and pink sky, surreal, digital art, photorealistic.”

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Hi there, lovely people!

I'm writing to you from Toronto, where the skies are oh-so-blue, and the maple trees are inching toward their vibrant autumn transformation. After saying goodbye to the wild beauty of the Yukon, I indulged in a few days of Vancouver's North Shore, cocooned in its enchanting forested embrace, before soaring off to Toronto. Ah, but our flight had a handful of unanticipated twists, including some not-so-welcome technical hiccups that rendered our in-flight entertainment system utterly useless. Now, if you've ever grappled with the dread of flying, you'll understand the mix of comfort and queasiness that comes from these announcements by the flight attendants.

Then, as our airborne adventure continued, we hit a patch of turbulence that triggered my own mini-meltdown. My heart did the samba, beating wildly and then dramatically pausing for what felt like an eternity. I clutched my partner's hand, and hot tears spilled down my cheeks as my mind played that gloomy newsreel I'd caught a few years back about a plane plunging to the earth. My partner tried to calm my overactive amygdala by explaining (again) that turbulence is about as perilous as navigating a bumpy Yukon road. I imagined the plane jiggling in jelly – a rational analogy to demystify the turbulence's harmlessness. After all, we're not that vulnerable up there.

Now, I thought my fear of flying was improving. I'd been working diligently to dismantle that sticky fear of perishing in an airplane. I've dabbled in EMDR, talk therapy, and, lo and behold, hypnotherapy. Each of these has played a role in soothing my troubled mind.

But let me wind back a bit. My fear of flying took a sudden nosedive (pun intended) after a hair-raising helicopter ride in the Swiss Alps back in 2019. The pilot, bless his heart, seemed to be working overtime to keep us steady in some choppy weather. This, evident from his clenched knuckles and his sweaty armpits. In that moment, I genuinely believed I was destined to have a chit-chat with the big boss in the clouds. That adrenaline-pumping episode, coupled with some highly publicized helicopter and plane mishaps; the loss of both my grandmothers in the same year; and the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, became a swirling ‘storm of doom’ in my mind. The result? A potent cocktail of terror of meeting my maker in mid-air. Thanks to the pandemic, I didn't have to confront this phobia for a solid three years.

But eventually, travel beckoned, and my mom wanted to see me. The catch? It required a plane ride. I was faced with the possibility of never seeing my family again in person. Although technically an option, it felt, well, extreme. So, instead of dodging it, I opted for therapy, EMDR therapy to be precise. Word on the street was that this therapist was top-notch. Several sessions later, the panic-fueled edge of flying was blunted, but I still found it deeply uncomfortable. I despised every moment on that airplane, to the point where I begged my doctor for sedatives. But deep down, I knew that wasn't a sustainable solution.

Enter a recommendation from a dear family friend: hypnotherapy. I embarked on several sessions with a budding hypnotherapist, and she crafted a soothing recording for me to listen to before flights. To my astonishment, it kindled a newfound sense of optimism about flying.

…I dare say, I even approached the flying experience with a touch of excitement.

AI Art prompted with “back to the future Delorean flying space, synth wave, digital art.”

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I had been diligently undergoing this type of hypnotherapy for nearly a year. It enabled me to conquer four 9-hour plane rides in just six months without whiskey or desperate pleas to the flight attendant. Progress, right? However, I got a bit overconfident, resting on my laurels. As my partner and I started to prepare for our upcoming five-month international adventure, I had abandoned my hypnotherapy work focused on flying. I thought I had it all under control, but I was mistaken.

Rewiring the brain to overcome a phobia demands repetition, a lot of it. Healing from trauma necessitates time, effort, and a generous dose of self-love.

Fast forward to the flight to Toronto, and suddenly, panic gripped me, and my amygdala was in the driver's seat. I felt lightheaded, as if I might faint. The loop of a tragic plane crash I had seen on YouTube – why did I ever Google that, I'll never understand? – played in my mind repeatedly.

I couldn't stop imagining the terror those people felt hurtling toward the earth. My mind started concocting an even deeper narrative about who might meet their end first on my flight, as if following dramatic screenwriting principles. The innocent baby? No, that would earn us an NR rating. The obnoxious teen a few seats ahead? No, it would be the guidance counselor who had sacrificed so much for the group of high schoolers he was flying back to Toronto after a beginning-of-the-school-year trip.

Just as my mind was crafting the cinematic lens flares and musical interludes to accompany this narrative of impending doom, my partner – still holding my hand and wiping my teary eyes – squeezed my hand.

“Babe, you haven't been doing the work,” he said, his almond-brown eyes revealing a truth I hadn't noticed before.

Time seemed to freeze.

My fear hung in the air.

I stared at him, tears still trickling down my cheeks.

Then, anger joined my fear. How could he be so brutally honest, yet so gentle? My mental state, coupled with the kindness in his words, made me feel like a wild creature.

I exhaled. “You're right.”

Surrender seemed the only way forward. Self-reflection and gentleness were my rational path.

“I haven't been doing the work,” I admitted with a sigh.

He was absolutely right.

Mental health, or what I like to call ‘mental fitness’, isn't a fixed state…

It's a continuum, unique for each of us. While medication may be necessary for some conditions to kickstart the dopamine engines or turn down the engines with a sedative, many treatments and healing modalities require conscious effort and focused attention. It's through this focused attention that new neural pathways are formed. Neurons that fire together, wire together.

I thought back to the work I had done with hypnotherapy to overcome creative blocks a year ago. I had been committed to that work, especially during a challenging period in my life when I left my stable day job of seven years. I had used a hypnotherapist's recording for nearly a year, and I still listen to it. For me, finding freedom from depression, anxiety, or any barrier to daily happiness means creating time each day to enter a trance state, focusing on how I live life when I operate from a place of empowerment.

I recently read a good article titled “Raising your Frequency” by

The Starfire Codes

about brain waves and how the ability to learn how to surf between states is a skill to master for your health. As a hypnotherapist, this is the world we swim in.

“By learning to hack our brainwaves, we can consciously enter and utilize exotic states of mind once thought impossible or fleeting. The future of human potential will involve surfing brainwave states with the same finesse and flow as an expert surfer riding waves in the ocean.” –

The Starfire Codes

Like a surfer, I dream of becoming a master of my mind, skillfully navigating the emotional waves that life sends my way. Now, with a newfound sense of optimism, I'm ready to face the skies for our upcoming Central America trip.

Also, side note: by some synchronistic moment, as I am writing this essay, my niece texted me today to say she went skydiving for the first time – something I can aspire to (or maybe not)! 😉

So, my dear friends, I hope this glimpse into the world of hypnotherapy sheds some light on how it can be a game-changer in overcoming the fear of flying. If you have questions or want to explore this transformative approach further, don't hesitate to reach out.

And remember, when loneliness creeps in on a rainy Sunday morning, I'm here for you! There's a growing library of posts like this one for you to explore, including my last article, “New Adventures, Hypnosis and a Heartfelt Farewell to Thor,” where I explain the science behind hypnosis. Check it out.

PS: If you can relate to my flight phobia and believe a hypnotherapy recording might benefit you, please leave a comment in the comment section.

Wishing you clear skies and fear-free flights!

Warm regards,

Ashley, aka Fake Guru

Like, comment, screenshot, and share! Forward it to a friend! Every bit of information can help people break down their personal barriers. You are reading Wannabe Wisdom, Diaries of a Fake Guru by Ashley Evans. I’m on Instagram and Threads.

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